Author: janetstockwriter

I think the theme for this month’s flash fiction competition should be…The Halloween Party. I might even try to make my entry light hearted this time!

Pop your stories here and let’s get some feedback going this month.

Here we are, my September flash fiction piece.

Obsessed

Sitting in the church, my memory started the familiar replay of everything he had put me through. He, being Mr Mills, my French teacher and my tormentor. From the day I started at secondary school, he had been obsessed with me.
My mind took me back to the detention room. It was just him and me. Nothing unusual in those days. No-one cared that a teacher and pupil were alone together. The other teachers were just glad to get away on time.
He would sit me in the middle of the room and walk around me, jeering almost, as I completed the lines he required as punishment.
‘You’ll never amount to anything’, ‘You’ll always be a failure if you don’t work hard.’ Then the accompaniment of a clip around the ear, or a flick on the back of the neck with a ruler, often came. He would lock the door, and only open it to let me free when he deemed that I had received enough humiliation.
After both of my parent’s untimely deaths, I was raised by my aunt and late uncle. I was understandably a wayward child, and I admit I was a handful, especially for a childless couple. I tried to tell them about Old Millsy but they dismissed my complaints.
‘Just try to keep out of trouble,’ they said. ‘Keep your head down and work hard.’
It didn’t even stop after I had left school. I got a job as a mechanic and the bastard even started bringing his car to the garage. He asked for me personally and would interrogated me about what I had done to his car, and why.
Then I didn’t see him for weeks. And although I should have felt relief, I felt a sense of unease.
‘I thought you would have heard,’ my aunt said, when I eventually asked her, ‘he’s had a stroke. He’s in hospital, and it doesn’t look good.
It was her who persuaded me to come today, and it hadn’t been as hard as maybe she had imagined. I had wanted to come. To make sure he was gone; get some closure I think is the phrase in vogue.
‘It’s a real shame your mum isn’t here.’ The words hit me like a thunderbolt and brought me back to the present.
‘What?!’ I whispered as loud as I thought I could get away with, staring at her.
‘Oh yes, they knew one another very well. I’m sure I’ve told you before. Your mum even asked him to keep an eye out for you, before she passed. It was just a shame that he was in France for her funeral.’
That trip that I had done everything to avoid, and the trip that I needn’t have worried about, as it coincided with my mother’s funeral.
‘Oh yes. I wasn’t surprised when you started becoming obsessed with him. Just like your mother!’
She was right I supposed. With him dead and buried, who would I obsess over now?

When I first started writing I was pretty scared of dialogue, for one thing it interrupted my beautiful passages of descriptive writing! But obviously, I pretty soon realised that I couldn’t hide from it for ever. It is still something that I have to make an extra effort with, but the following basic things have helped me.

1. Don’t write dialogue as we actually talk. By that I mean, limit using ‘erm’ and ‘ahh’ for example. This can get pretty boring to read.
2. Make every word count. Dialogue should move the story on.
3. Dialogue can be used to ‘show’ something in the story ie reveal a character. Much more effective that just using description in many cases.
4. Think long and hard before using dialect. Depending on how much you’re writing, it could get pretty laborious for the reader.
5. Limit the use of adverbs.

You could try some of these out in this month’s flash fiction challenge? Post your 500 words on the theme of Obsessions on the website for comment. Mine will be there soon.

I can’t believe I have no reviews on Dark & Fluffy I!!
Well, regardless, whilst also working on my novel, I’ve still got one eye on Dark & Fluffy II which will be out in December. The first four stories that I have in mind for it are:-

Vintage
That Steampunk Vibe
The Disney Club
The Puzzle
and I’m thinking of writing a stand-alone story using the main character from my novel, Benedict. I thought it might be a nice way to introduce him.

I’ll keep you posted on further details.

Does anyone else remember Tales of the Unexpected? I have recently got into watching re-runs of these short tales and I had forgotten how much I enjoyed them. They are stand-alone dramas adapted from Roald Dahl’s short stories in his books of the same name. Always with a, sometimes sinister, twist at the end. The great man himself introduced the first two series. What’s not to like! Ninety percent of my short stories are like this and I think they really engage the reader/watcher and can stick in the mind for sometime when the ending is clever enough. Give it a go in your writing if you haven’t tried it before. You can always get some inspiration from watching the Tales on YouTube.